Women are not Houses

One of the things Teresa and I love to do in our spare time is peruse mibor.com for new houses on the market, visit new model homes, and drive through new and different neighborhoods.  And of course we watch all of the HGTV house shows.  We both just really love houses.  This can be a dangerous hobby for us, in that we do end up moving often as a result of this interest.  

Lately I started thinking about the ways in which house shopping is, and isn't, like relationship shopping.  I can't help myself.  All of my neural pathways seem to lead right back to relationships.  

What I have come to realize is that shopping for a relationship has one significant advantage over shopping for a house.  Dating allows both parties the opportunity to try the relationship on - to  assess the other's suitability as a partner before a commitment is necessary.  

With a house you are pretty much expected to make the second largest investment you'll make, with just a couple of visits, an appraisal, and a 3-4 hour inspection.  You might seek approval from friends and family, then just like that you commit.  No sleep over, no test drive, no mowing the lawn or cleaning the house to see how long it takes, and no trial run to see if your life fits well in the new house.  Wait, maybe that isn't much different than lesbian dating afterall?

If a house is the second largest investment, what's the largest investment we make? Right - our primary relationship!  And like houses, they can be difficult to maintain, and even harder to renovate.  

The good news about dating though, is that dating allows you the opportunity to not only try on one relationship, but to try on as many as you'd like.  There's no penalty for shopping around, and in fact you may even be able to rule out some potential partners who are not comfortable with your wish to do so.  Women are not houses. You are allowed to have more than a couple of visits, and a 3-4 hour inspection before you commit.  The appraisal? Well, that's on you.  Which is why it is important to spend time dating.  

How do you appraise a new potential partner?

When we shop for a relationship, we are looking for a partner with whom we consider suitable to share our life.  

My Realtor is big on the importance of liking the layout of a home.  He says you can change the colors, carpet, landscaping, and improve the appliances, etc... but the layout is the layout.  I think the translation for this when it comes to dating is, be sure you are investing in the kind of woman that you like, just as she is.  Do not invest in potential.  Invest in a relationship that is already what you appreciate and desire, rather than what you think it CAN be.  

Unlike houses, fixer-uppers do not make good relationship investments.  Be sure the relationship you are attracting is already good enough.  Do not be lured into a commitment by the potential of what could be.