michele omara

Administrator | Last logged in at

As creator of, I am committed to helping lesbians connect. My work as a therapist (primarily with GLBT folks) constantly reminds me of how important it is to get connected, and how difficult it can be sometimes. I hope this site helps.

More important than anything, though, is my role as mom to Mitchell and Cameron (my nine year old sons) and my partner and co-mom, Teresa O'Mara, to whom I have been committed since 2000.

How Lesbian Are You?





Link to take next survey:  Lesbians and Gender


How lesbian are you? 170 Completed Responses 3 questions total

SURVEY SUMMARY The kick-off survey for this new adventure is designed to understand the various degrees of attraction to men and women that exist for lesbians. This simple, three-question survey inquires about the degree to which lesbian-identified women experience the following six variables as it relates to both men and women: emotional attraction, physical attraction, enjoyment of company, sexual fantasies, ease of attraction, and sexual behavior. Nearly all lesbians find women emotionally attractive (98%), physically attractive (99%), and would, or do, have sex with women (97%). Still impressive, ninety-five percent of lesbians enjoy the company of women.

Registering lowest on the survey, are the eighty-eight percent of lesbians who report having sexual fantasies about women, and the eighty-nine percent of lesbians who indicate they are easily attracted to women. When it comes to men, an impressive fifty-seven percent of lesbians report enjoying their company, surpassing those who identify as bisexual (44%) by thirteen percentage points. There were, however, only sixteen bisexuals in the survey compared to 139 lesbians. Very few lesbians are emotionally attracted to men (14%). Slightly more lesbians find men physically attractive (16%). However, nineteen percent of lesbians in this survey enjoy fantasizing about sex with men, and thirty-eight percent of bisexuals have sexual fantasies about men. Nine percent of lesbians report that they would, or do, have sex with men and almost none of the lesbians in the survey are easily attracted to men (1%), whereas nineteen percent of bisexuals are. 


  • *More lesbians enjoy the company of men than bisexual women.
  • *Nineteen percent of lesbians enjoy fantasizing about having sex with men, but only half of that group (9%) are willing to walk their talk (or in this case, thoughts).
  • *The lowest of the six measures of attraction (emotional, physical, company of, ease of attraction, sexual fantasy about, willingness/desire to have sex with) for lesbians is their sexual fantasies (88% have sexual fantasies about women).


Gay / Lesbian 82% (139 total) Bisexual 9% (16 total) Pansexual 2% 3 total) Queer 6% (10 total) Asexual 1% (2 total) Other (Please Specify) 8% (13 total) I am emotionally attracted to women. 96% (162 total) I am physically attracted to women. 98% (165 total) I enjoy the company of women. 93% (157 total) I have sexual fantasies about women. 86% (146 total) I am easily attracted to women. 88% (148 total) I would (or do) have sex with a woman. 98% (165 total) I am emotionally attracted to men. 21% (28 total) I am physically attracted to men. 30% (40 total) I enjoy the company of men. 71% (94 total) I have sexual fantasies about men. 30% (39 total) I am easily attracted to men. 4% (5 total) I would (or do) have sex with a man. 21% (28 total)


If you are a lesbian and you would like to participate in the next survey, please join my newsletter where you will find the information about and links to future surveys.  Please contact me if you have topics or questions you would like to see included on a future survey.

Caption for This Church Sign?

Anyone have a good caption for this photo?  We saw it on our way through Martinsville a couple weeks ago.  As we pulled out of the parking lot after taking the picture (ironically about 20 minutes before the service was scheduled to start), I couldn't help myself from leaning over to kiss Teresa.  Our boys were in the back seat.  I think that would have made a great photo, especially if the sign could have been in the background!  Love is love is love...

Survey Results: Lesbian Sexual Frequency

In the forum there is a thread "Long Term Relationship Question" that prompted discussion about the frequency of lesbian sex.  Because I am doing research on this topic, I shared that 49% of lesbians reported (in my survey of 498 lesbians) having had sex once monthly or less.  Someone inquired about how frequently the remaining lesbians have sex, so I am posting the chart from my research that describes the breakdown.

Surprised?  Expected it?  What's your reaction to this.

Thoughts about these numbers?


Lesbian Sexual Frequency

Oscar Sunday... Your Pick?

Sunday, February 26th is the 84th Academy Awards.  Do you have any predictions or favorites?

Choices for best picture are listed below (and the full list of nominees are at

The Artist
Thomas Langmann, Producer
The Descendants
Jim Burke, Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor, Producers
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
Scott Rudin, Producer
The Help
Brunson Green, Chris Columbus and Michael Barnathan, Producers
Graham King and Martin Scorsese, Producers
Midnight in Paris
Letty Aronson and Stephen Tenenbaum, Producers
Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz and Brad Pitt, Producers
The Tree of Life
Sarah Green, Bill Pohlad, Dede Gardner and Grant Hill, Producers
War Horse
Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, Producers


Gay Marriage: Important or not?

Washington State is joining the ranks of other US states who offer gay marriage.  

How updated do you stay on the issue?  How hopeful are you that one day it will be legal for all gays to marry everywhere?  Or is this an issue that doesn't mean a lot to you?

Women are not Houses

One of the things Teresa and I love to do in our spare time is peruse for new houses on the market, visit new model homes, and drive through new and different neighborhoods.  And of course we watch all of the HGTV house shows.  We both just really love houses.  This can be a dangerous hobby for us, in that we do end up moving often as a result of this interest.  

Lately I started thinking about the ways in which house shopping is, and isn't, like relationship shopping.  I can't help myself.  All of my neural pathways seem to lead right back to relationships.  

What I have come to realize is that shopping for a relationship has one significant advantage over shopping for a house.  Dating allows both parties the opportunity to try the relationship on - to  assess the other's suitability as a partner before a commitment is necessary.  

With a house you are pretty much expected to make the second largest investment you'll make, with just a couple of visits, an appraisal, and a 3-4 hour inspection.  You might seek approval from friends and family, then just like that you commit.  No sleep over, no test drive, no mowing the lawn or cleaning the house to see how long it takes, and no trial run to see if your life fits well in the new house.  Wait, maybe that isn't much different than lesbian dating afterall?

If a house is the second largest investment, what's the largest investment we make? Right - our primary relationship!  And like houses, they can be difficult to maintain, and even harder to renovate.  

The good news about dating though, is that dating allows you the opportunity to not only try on one relationship, but to try on as many as you'd like.  There's no penalty for shopping around, and in fact you may even be able to rule out some potential partners who are not comfortable with your wish to do so.  Women are not houses. You are allowed to have more than a couple of visits, and a 3-4 hour inspection before you commit.  The appraisal? Well, that's on you.  Which is why it is important to spend time dating.  

How do you appraise a new potential partner?

When we shop for a relationship, we are looking for a partner with whom we consider suitable to share our life.  

My Realtor is big on the importance of liking the layout of a home.  He says you can change the colors, carpet, landscaping, and improve the appliances, etc... but the layout is the layout.  I think the translation for this when it comes to dating is, be sure you are investing in the kind of woman that you like, just as she is.  Do not invest in potential.  Invest in a relationship that is already what you appreciate and desire, rather than what you think it CAN be.  

Unlike houses, fixer-uppers do not make good relationship investments.  Be sure the relationship you are attracting is already good enough.  Do not be lured into a commitment by the potential of what could be.  

Using the Blog Area

To post a blog, look on the top bar of the page and click on "New Blog Post."  Give it a title, add your content, and decide if you are writing for yourself only, ("my profile only") or if you want to put it out there for the rest of theLcafe members to see (click "blog") then SUBMIT the page.  Viola!  You're done.


The blog is a feature that allows everyone the chance to speak her mind.  You can do so privately, posting to your own profile only, or to the blog at-large by posting to "blog."  Write about whatever floats your boat.  You can simply post photos, and you can even upload videos too. Once you are done, you can post it to facebook and twitter if you have those accounts.  Have fun with this.